Do you ever have those weeks where you're doing the right things, but it doesn't feel worthwhile? That was exactly what I had this week. I ate properly. I exercised as usual. But there was no joy in it, none at all, culminating yesterday to have a horrible, emotional day. Just wretched. Rotten mood, rotten attitude.
As a result, I didn't expect much on the scale this morning. I was shocked (and thrilled) that it showed a .6 pound loss! Truly astonished because I didn't FEEL like my efforts were worthwhile this week. That brings my total weight loss to 43.6 pounds.
I really needed that little boost, and my workout today felt so good, so productive. I'm grateful.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Fatties
I have two real-life people who are in on my weight-loss goals. Aside from my household, of course. One of those people is my brother, who was actually (kinda-sorta) the person who inspired me in the first place.
He was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes a couple of years ago, and he started walking. Doctor's orders. We had discussed the diabetes, the walking, and the 25 pounds he ended up losing as a result. I think that was the point that made me realize it was not only for looks to shed my extra pounds, it was a necessity. My brother was 41 years old, carrying around probably 80 extra pounds, and in poor health. That was going to be me if I didn't do something about it.
It took another year for me to move from thinking to doing, but I did eventually. And I started reporting in to my brother. He is supposed to be losing weight too, so I was using it as an accountability factor for myself.
The point to all of this is that my brother knows I've been changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and losing weight. As I've mentioned before, I don't talk about it to people, so it is kind of a Big Deal that he knows.
That's why I was shocked, absolutely shocked, when we were at a snack counter together during my visit, and he said, "We need two cookies for a couple of fatties." I was too shocked to say anything. I'm still shocked because I don't think he had ever in his life called me fat before then. EVER. This was the boy who was as thin as a board while I struggled and struggled with weight issues, who was my best friend despite my "fat kid" status, whose "popular kid" status kept me in the thick of things despite my tendency to be overweight and geeky.
He meant it as a joke. I shrugged it off at the time, but I've been thinking about it lately. Strangely, I'm wasn't angry about it. I wasn't even really upset. Shocked, yes, but I don't think I felt more than that. I still don't. He's still my best friend.
But why would he say that, when he knew that I had been working to change things? Now, two weeks later, I wonder if he is threatened by or afraid of my accomplishment. That sounds so strange to say that. It really does, but that's the only thing that makes sense to me, especially since he has never, ever been inconsiderate or insensitive in that way before.
I still need to mull it over a bit.
We had gone to TGI Friday's for lunch, and I had such a hard time finding something to eat that I just got what sounded good. BAD CHOICE. And I split a dessert with my husband. I knew the dessert was a bad decision. Anyone would! But I was honest and logged them into My Fitness Pal account like a good little logger, and I was 650 calories in the red. IN THE RED. The day had been busy. I hadn't exercised at all, and oh yeah, it showed. My normal workouts only log about 400 calories burned, which meant I would need to put in TWO workouts to get it back to green. And have any sort of snack!
I still had more to do after our late lunch (which ended at 3 pm), but later that night I decided that I wasn't going to bed with that counter still red. So I pulled out my stuff and started in. I tend to zone out and think about other things while I am working out, and for some reason this moment, this comment was there. I hadn't thought about it in two weeks, but I let it be my motivation last night. Held it in front and made it my reason for sweating.
That calorie counter was in the green when I went to bed, and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment.
He was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes a couple of years ago, and he started walking. Doctor's orders. We had discussed the diabetes, the walking, and the 25 pounds he ended up losing as a result. I think that was the point that made me realize it was not only for looks to shed my extra pounds, it was a necessity. My brother was 41 years old, carrying around probably 80 extra pounds, and in poor health. That was going to be me if I didn't do something about it.
It took another year for me to move from thinking to doing, but I did eventually. And I started reporting in to my brother. He is supposed to be losing weight too, so I was using it as an accountability factor for myself.
The point to all of this is that my brother knows I've been changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and losing weight. As I've mentioned before, I don't talk about it to people, so it is kind of a Big Deal that he knows.
That's why I was shocked, absolutely shocked, when we were at a snack counter together during my visit, and he said, "We need two cookies for a couple of fatties." I was too shocked to say anything. I'm still shocked because I don't think he had ever in his life called me fat before then. EVER. This was the boy who was as thin as a board while I struggled and struggled with weight issues, who was my best friend despite my "fat kid" status, whose "popular kid" status kept me in the thick of things despite my tendency to be overweight and geeky.
He meant it as a joke. I shrugged it off at the time, but I've been thinking about it lately. Strangely, I'm wasn't angry about it. I wasn't even really upset. Shocked, yes, but I don't think I felt more than that. I still don't. He's still my best friend.
But why would he say that, when he knew that I had been working to change things? Now, two weeks later, I wonder if he is threatened by or afraid of my accomplishment. That sounds so strange to say that. It really does, but that's the only thing that makes sense to me, especially since he has never, ever been inconsiderate or insensitive in that way before.
I still need to mull it over a bit.
We had gone to TGI Friday's for lunch, and I had such a hard time finding something to eat that I just got what sounded good. BAD CHOICE. And I split a dessert with my husband. I knew the dessert was a bad decision. Anyone would! But I was honest and logged them into My Fitness Pal account like a good little logger, and I was 650 calories in the red. IN THE RED. The day had been busy. I hadn't exercised at all, and oh yeah, it showed. My normal workouts only log about 400 calories burned, which meant I would need to put in TWO workouts to get it back to green. And have any sort of snack!
I still had more to do after our late lunch (which ended at 3 pm), but later that night I decided that I wasn't going to bed with that counter still red. So I pulled out my stuff and started in. I tend to zone out and think about other things while I am working out, and for some reason this moment, this comment was there. I hadn't thought about it in two weeks, but I let it be my motivation last night. Held it in front and made it my reason for sweating.
That calorie counter was in the green when I went to bed, and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Weighing in
This week was all about getting back to my normal habits. Truthfully, it wasn't easy. I was more tired than I expected from the trip, and I ended up feeling like I had gotten beaten up. That lasted from Wednesday to Saturday!
My eating habits returned easily. I suppose it isn't hard when the refrigerator is stocked with the healthy stuff. But my workout habits took a while. I didn't get what I consider a "real" workout until Sunday, then I ended up missing Monday's workout entirely because of various appointments. This life thing just gets in the way sometimes.
So I am absolutely thrilled that I lost 2.2 pounds this week!
That brings my total weight loss to 43 pounds. WOW! I never would have believed this was possible a year ago, which was actually 6 months AFTER I had decided I was tired of all of this extra weight I was carrying around.
Onward and on track ....
My eating habits returned easily. I suppose it isn't hard when the refrigerator is stocked with the healthy stuff. But my workout habits took a while. I didn't get what I consider a "real" workout until Sunday, then I ended up missing Monday's workout entirely because of various appointments. This life thing just gets in the way sometimes.
So I am absolutely thrilled that I lost 2.2 pounds this week!
That brings my total weight loss to 43 pounds. WOW! I never would have believed this was possible a year ago, which was actually 6 months AFTER I had decided I was tired of all of this extra weight I was carrying around.
Onward and on track ....
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Quote
"Pictures are deceiving and don't show progress, determination, and inspiration."
-- tbennett98 on My Fitness Pal
I was looking through old photos not long ago, and they aren't pretty. My current photos DON'T show as much progress as I 'd like, and they sure don't show the change in mind-set.
Pictures don't show the multifaceted dimensions of change. Because so much of the change is within, they simply can't. It is so easy to forget that when looking at pictures though.
This past weekend I took a photo with my wonderful grandmother at her 87th birthday party. She looks lovely, and I ... I don't look the way I feel. It saddened me. But I put the picture up anyway because I love my sweet grandmother. Instead of looking at the photo and feeling disappointment, I really ought to be looking at it and seeing the bigger smile and the more comfortable stance. And the potential. Always the potential.
-- tbennett98 on My Fitness Pal
I was looking through old photos not long ago, and they aren't pretty. My current photos DON'T show as much progress as I 'd like, and they sure don't show the change in mind-set.
Pictures don't show the multifaceted dimensions of change. Because so much of the change is within, they simply can't. It is so easy to forget that when looking at pictures though.
This past weekend I took a photo with my wonderful grandmother at her 87th birthday party. She looks lovely, and I ... I don't look the way I feel. It saddened me. But I put the picture up anyway because I love my sweet grandmother. Instead of looking at the photo and feeling disappointment, I really ought to be looking at it and seeing the bigger smile and the more comfortable stance. And the potential. Always the potential.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sometimes I just have to laugh
Laugh and shake it off.
I've been focused on taking better care of myself for almost a year now, six months of that with a specific weight-loss goal in mind. I've lost just over 40 pounds. I feel better, more energetic, and I know what I'm doing. I feel stronger and smarter. I haven't really shared much with people because ... I just don't do that. I am a very private person, and I just don't feel comfortable with it.
However, it seems as if now people are noticing and commenting. While I love the "you look good!" comments, they still make me a little uncomfortable. And I could certainly do without the "don't you think you could do better/more if you would just [insert THEIR favorite sport/fad diet]." That's the part I have to shake off.
I don't play baseball because I DON'T LIKE IT.
I am not interested in the Atkins diet because I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD FOR ME.
I don't run a 9-minute mile because I'M NOT READY.
I am not interested in having a shake for my meals because I FIND IT BORING.
Sheesh. Lay off already.
When people ask, I tell the truth -- that I've started walking regularly and paying attention to what I eat. I don't find it necessary to go into the details of how I got to that point, how I count calories for everything, how I walk and log my miles. It has been a long road I've walked (literally, in a way) to get rid of that 40 pounds.
I visited my family (500 miles away) last week, and quite honestly the best comment came from my uncle. He is ... honest. He is never intentionally hurtful, but occasionally his comments sting because he IS honest about what he says. I was standing talking to my aunt and uncle, and my aunt asked the "have you lost weight?" question that I dread. I replied, "A bit. I've started walking regularly, about 4 or 5 miles a day." (While 40 pounds is more than "a bit" of weight, I still have more to go for my goal, and I'd prefer not to get into that with other people.) My aunt went on a bit, gushing. My uncle just nodded his head and said, "Yep. That's the best way to go at it. It isn't fast and flashy, but you're more likely to stick with it." I think that's the best compliment I could have gotten.
I've found something that I enjoy doing, and that has made all the difference. I was walking 20 miles a week for months before I started changing my diet. I was losing very slowly, but more importantly, I was becoming aware of calories = energy and how it affects my body.
It's a journey, and everyone has his or her OWN path. Personally, I'd rather just have the slow-and-steady loss because I am afraid that "fast and flashy" will just make me crash and burn.
I've been focused on taking better care of myself for almost a year now, six months of that with a specific weight-loss goal in mind. I've lost just over 40 pounds. I feel better, more energetic, and I know what I'm doing. I feel stronger and smarter. I haven't really shared much with people because ... I just don't do that. I am a very private person, and I just don't feel comfortable with it.
However, it seems as if now people are noticing and commenting. While I love the "you look good!" comments, they still make me a little uncomfortable. And I could certainly do without the "don't you think you could do better/more if you would just [insert THEIR favorite sport/fad diet]." That's the part I have to shake off.
I don't play baseball because I DON'T LIKE IT.
I am not interested in the Atkins diet because I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD FOR ME.
I don't run a 9-minute mile because I'M NOT READY.
I am not interested in having a shake for my meals because I FIND IT BORING.
Sheesh. Lay off already.
When people ask, I tell the truth -- that I've started walking regularly and paying attention to what I eat. I don't find it necessary to go into the details of how I got to that point, how I count calories for everything, how I walk and log my miles. It has been a long road I've walked (literally, in a way) to get rid of that 40 pounds.
I visited my family (500 miles away) last week, and quite honestly the best comment came from my uncle. He is ... honest. He is never intentionally hurtful, but occasionally his comments sting because he IS honest about what he says. I was standing talking to my aunt and uncle, and my aunt asked the "have you lost weight?" question that I dread. I replied, "A bit. I've started walking regularly, about 4 or 5 miles a day." (While 40 pounds is more than "a bit" of weight, I still have more to go for my goal, and I'd prefer not to get into that with other people.) My aunt went on a bit, gushing. My uncle just nodded his head and said, "Yep. That's the best way to go at it. It isn't fast and flashy, but you're more likely to stick with it." I think that's the best compliment I could have gotten.
I've found something that I enjoy doing, and that has made all the difference. I was walking 20 miles a week for months before I started changing my diet. I was losing very slowly, but more importantly, I was becoming aware of calories = energy and how it affects my body.
It's a journey, and everyone has his or her OWN path. Personally, I'd rather just have the slow-and-steady loss because I am afraid that "fast and flashy" will just make me crash and burn.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Weighing in
This wasn't a good weight-week. I gained 1.6 pounds. YUCK. I'm not thrilled, but at the same time I'm not overly displeased.
We spent the entire last week traveling (as in, I rolled into my driveway at 1:15 this morning), and traveling is always difficult for weight loss. Of course, some of it was just bad decisions I made and knew I was making them at the time. Anyone knows that a chili cheese dog and onion rings from the Sonic aren't exactly the best food choices, but I had them anyway. Plus, we had a big family party all weekend .... You get the idea.
Still, my parents' neighbor has a big pool, and I spent a couple of hours in there every day that I could. That was the only real exercise I got though. There is a walking/bike trail less than a block away from my parents' house, but it was too hot to go on it. At 112 degree heat index, it just seemed dangerous.
So, indulging in food that I don't normally eat + no real exercise time = weight gain. I was hoping for anything less than 2 pounds though, and I'm pleased that I managed that!
We spent the entire last week traveling (as in, I rolled into my driveway at 1:15 this morning), and traveling is always difficult for weight loss. Of course, some of it was just bad decisions I made and knew I was making them at the time. Anyone knows that a chili cheese dog and onion rings from the Sonic aren't exactly the best food choices, but I had them anyway. Plus, we had a big family party all weekend .... You get the idea.
Still, my parents' neighbor has a big pool, and I spent a couple of hours in there every day that I could. That was the only real exercise I got though. There is a walking/bike trail less than a block away from my parents' house, but it was too hot to go on it. At 112 degree heat index, it just seemed dangerous.
So, indulging in food that I don't normally eat + no real exercise time = weight gain. I was hoping for anything less than 2 pounds though, and I'm pleased that I managed that!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Weighing in
I had high hopes for today. The week felt good, and I'm thrilled to report that I lost 1.8 pounds! That makes my total lost 42.4 pounds! I'm still a little in shock that I've made it this far. Also, I never measured myself until last month, so I've no idea where I began on the inches, but I lost three inches in my waist between June 1 and July 1, so YAY!!
This week will be rough with the traveling. I'm a bit anxious about it actually, since I won't be able to exercise, and I'll have no control over food preparations. EEK.
This week will be rough with the traveling. I'm a bit anxious about it actually, since I won't be able to exercise, and I'll have no control over food preparations. EEK.
Monday, July 4, 2011
12-Week Sprint: Week 6
Holey schamoley. It's Week 6 already! (No Week 5 recap from me last week because I was simply too busy.) So, we're at the halfway point, and according to my step on the scale this morning, I'm 15 pounds from my goal. Hmm. Losing 15 pounds in 6 weeks. That's a lofty goal, as it as taken me about 5 months to lose 20 pounds, but I'll see how close I can get anyway.
Fitness: I'm back to my 25-30 miles a week. I found a couple of new DVDs at the thrift store this weekend (at the big half-price sale!), and I'm looking forward to giving them a try.
Nutrition: Few problems there. I am using My Fitness Pal to log, and I haven't had much trouble staying within my goal. Some days I have trouble eating all of my calories though, which seems really strange.
Motivation: Currently reading:
Very fun, interesting, easy read. Lots of fast food included. While I'm not really a fan of eating out so much, it IS good to be informed, especially since we travel so very often. My husband is reading it as well, and he is quite enjoying it.
So, onto this week. We are traveling south, so I'll have to put some of the things from that book into practice. I won't be able to walk like I normally do, and I won't be able to cook my own meals. I am not expecting to LOSE much this week, but I am hoping to maintain at the very least.
Fitness: I'm back to my 25-30 miles a week. I found a couple of new DVDs at the thrift store this weekend (at the big half-price sale!), and I'm looking forward to giving them a try.
Nutrition: Few problems there. I am using My Fitness Pal to log, and I haven't had much trouble staying within my goal. Some days I have trouble eating all of my calories though, which seems really strange.
Motivation: Currently reading:
Very fun, interesting, easy read. Lots of fast food included. While I'm not really a fan of eating out so much, it IS good to be informed, especially since we travel so very often. My husband is reading it as well, and he is quite enjoying it.
So, onto this week. We are traveling south, so I'll have to put some of the things from that book into practice. I won't be able to walk like I normally do, and I won't be able to cook my own meals. I am not expecting to LOSE much this week, but I am hoping to maintain at the very least.
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